Fighting and negative emotions is a default in our hard wiring in our brains. Withdrawal and avoidance is also how many of us are wired. As with couples, so as in families. We often are the fighter or the avoider in the role we take on in our families. Adults who go back home fall into their old patterns within minutes.
Children struggle like never before. They are connected in a way that is constant. They are always receiving messages about their worth or ability. They are constantly being compared or comparing. This increased attention has increased their need to self protect and regulate. They do so with any means but often by emphasize themselves or by withdrawing. Both online and in person. As parents we are often rejected in our efforts to help our children navigate these dilemma. This rejection can trigger our own issues and we end up blocking our children to protect ourselves. We find it difficult to offer them the security they need to stay above the pressures they respond to.
Family therapy can help us step out of these patterns, remove ours and our child's blocks to a safe parent child relationship. This allows us to help attune to each other's emotions and give our family the basis for resiliency and exploration.